The other night I had a dream. I dreamed I was downtown in a small town (probably in the middle of nowhere) with my kids to watch a parade. We approached a bench with an old fashion light pole next to it to sit and wait like everyone else. As we sat there, I looked around and noticed everyone staring at my kids and me. In the mist of all this staring, someone walks up to the sheriff, whose not that far from me, and hands him a cookie. It was one of those soft chew gooey chuncky cookies. I reached beside me to get some money out of my purse and realize my wallet wasn't in it. I tell my oldest to go to the car and get my wallet. As he's walking away, I realize he doesn't have the keys. I reach for my purse to get the keys and my wallet is right on top. I get up off the bench so my kids and I can go get a cookie.
Why was everyone staring at us? What is all this suppose to mean? Why am I sharing this with you? Well everyone was staring because we were the only non-white nationality in the town. Yes, I could have said because we were black but it really was because we were different. My understanding of what this means is I recognize I am different from those around me. My kids are different from those around me. The most impressive part to me is I accepted the fact that we are different and continued going like nothing was wrong. Why is that a big deal? Well, I have live my life my whole life knowing I am not entirely like those around me. I think different, look at things different, and sometimes feel things different. I am DIFFERENT. I made that word stand out because it has had such an impact on my life. I tried very hard to be like everyone else for soooooo long. When I was a kid, I was afraid to stand out, but I did anyway. I stood out because I was quite, because people could trust me since I didn't talk, I was helpful and giving, I essentially was a good friend to everyone. To this day, people I went to elementary and middle school with remember me because I was the quite girl. How's that for not standing out or being different. As I got older, I started noticing being different from the "grown ups" around me might not be such a bad thing. Today, I know its not a bad thing. I am still the same as I was as a child, not quite but a good friend to all that know me. Except now I embrace my difference. I also understand that difference goes much further then just surface stuff.
Again, why am I sharing this with you? Reason number one, I want you to know just as I have learned that it's okay to be different. In a world where humanity seems to be running low, people have become extremely materialistic (don't get me wrong it's nice to have nice things but they are just things, they aren't YOU), people have become so self centered, and all the other things I could continue saying here. Being different can be a very good thing! The other reason for sharing this with you is so you understand the things I share here may not be what you are use to reading or hearing. I have experiences I don't always understand or are comfortable with. I am shown things from my dreams, feelings, and meditation that have scared the crap out of me or puzzle me to this day. I am lead places and to people without understanding why. I see things sometimes that are not familar to this world. What I post here you can believe or not. It is your choice! I decided to do this to see if there are others like me. Others who see some of the same things I do or who have had other experiences that may explain what I go through. Or vice versa. Also posting here is good medicine since I have no one I can really talk to about this stuff. If you took the time to read this book I justed posted :), thanks! Have a happy thanksgiving and I'll talk to you soon!
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